someday, hope so.

tomorrow will be a hard day for me to go through. it will be two years tomorrow. how fast the time traveled. im not the kind of person who always open to people on how i felt about something and its hard for me to let out what inside me even to my sister, my ultimate best friend, or my close friends at school, who ever at all. and its kinda awkward for me to let it out here, even it wont be clear enough for anybody to understand what the hell im talking about. i wish i can turn back time two years ago, and give it a proper goodbyes and tell him how much i love him and how much i wish we were close enough as siblings. and it was all because of him i went to boarding school, and it was because of him i tried very hard for spm eventhough sometimes i do not take it seriously on studies but because of him, i keep study. i hope that my spm results will be good enough to make him proud. even he was not here anymore, i still think he is the one who gave me the spirit to move on.

i dreamed about him a week ago. he smiles, but it was a short appearance. but it was enough for me to see his face, even in a dream. its not like i never except for what had happened, but when people asked me about my siblings, my answer will be always like he is still here, still working somewhere, still with his family, yeah. its not easy. but im very grateful that everybody is doing alright, move on but not forget. and i wish i could tell him how great his daughter is. she is brilliant and bright. and i want to tell him how lucky he is to have her. anyhow, my prayers will always to him, and even i felt like we never had a chance to know each other that well, he will be always in my heart and maybe someday, somewhere, i will meet him again.