whats next?

hokay masa free memang banyak, sumpah banyak tapi nak buat satu post untuk blog ni memang la.. PEMALAS. tapi tak pe, aku gagah jugak la nak taip ni memandangkan memang tengah boring.

kenapa boring?

hmm bukak facebook je tengok yang online tinggal bape kerat je kot. semua dah sambung belajar. dak2 form 6, Uitm, matriks and even some kids yang dapat scholarship pun dah berambus awal2. jeles tu memang ade bro sebab diorang dah melangkah satu tapak, aku ni, semakin terbenam kaki dekat tanah. standing at the same freaking spot looking at people around me start their new chapter in life.

so aku ni bile lagi?

haha okay let me explain lah ye. matrik, dapat kuala pilah nun, ipta? dapat, Uitm puncak alam asasi sains tapi aku tolak kedua-duanye sebab dapat tajaan mara. MARA watlekje bagi tahu keputusan, program A-level, pergigian, kolej teknologi timur, Jun 2011.

haiyo memang tergelak jugak tengok. tarikh tu tak leh bla. ingat nak main teka-teki? nama kolej teknologi timur pun aku tak pernah dengar. my mom starts to make jokes said maybe the collage is somewhere in the middle of PANTAI TIMUR? hmm memang aku nak la kan pergi sane. memang nak. =.='

google tengok2 dekat sepang. so buat le research about the collage. so i will study Cambridge A-level. fuyooo Cambridge tuh. fly LONDON ke ni. Pale abah ko. i will be flying to india. kalau tak ada masalah lah. i knew this since the interview pun. so watlek je la. tak kisah.

so sekarang tunggu surat mara. tunggu tarikh sebenar nak belajar. tunggu otak ni hilang karat sebab dah lupe dah segala Bio, Chem, even Physics. Maths tak payah cite.

so now i start to reading blogs about people's life stydying in India. fulamak nak nangis bace. kena though. macam la aku ni though sangat. hmmm tak pe lambat lagi ye nak singgah india tuh.

blog kakak ni banyak membantu aku imagine how the hell India really is.

intanberlian

credit to Adila yang bagi link walaupun ake dah jumpe dulu. HAHA so at the side corner ade column nak tahu pasal india? okay i read every single one of it malam semalam sampai pukul 5 pagi. semangat lak ai. sebab cite akak ni lebih best kot dari drama korea? haha maybe

this post just me telling you guys what are the things keep bugging my mind these couple of weeks. okay i miss my friends yang dah pergi belajar. good luck okay? lepas ni aku pulak weyh. weyh. weyh.

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acceptance

have you watch Glee? yeah the show that have these bunch of high school kids, singing and dancing cool songs and having problems in life and we dont really seen them study or doing homework even the whole show is in school? yeah. cite tuh.

i never give much attention to the show, and its never been my fav show before, i just love some of the song they did, but after watching glee-athon, im kinda fell in love? i dont know. but they have this one episode called, "Born This Way" the whole episode was about self-acceptance. it made me thinking for a while, "did i ever accept the way i am right now?" yes, its a silly to think of it, cause we are Malaysian, hey, we are all fucking fake all the time, like i never seen anyone that really show who they really are unless they are with their best friends, i guess. cause we do fucking lie infront of our parents, right?

so do i accept the way i was born? pretty much yes, and it is such a sensitive issue to talk about but right now i just dont really care about what people going to think of me, like, seriously.

in school,

"shafiq, cube ko ubah perangai jadi lelaki sejati sikit"

"shafiq, cube jalan betul2 sikit"

"shafiq, cube makan banyak sikit, ni keding macam lidi"

well fuck them, since primary school, so dah lali and i never even give a damn. bukan benci or totally hate them, maybe they are being concern but, really dude? i keep telling myself that i am happy the way i was born, the way i am. i am living in this world not to make people happy, i am living to make myself happy as long i don't do drugs or whatsoever.

itu saja kot. malas nak cakap panjang2. HOI. pointless lah blog kali nih. haha
kalau tanya who's my fav? it has to be Brittany. haha

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leaves

just finished reading this novel today, A Season of Leaves.

i dont know what to say, i found this book at MPH Mid Valley months ago and paid it with my first month salary. i remember the day i bought it. i was with my friends and we hung around that store for hours and finally i found this book. i never heard of it but the words from behind the book makes me want to buy it. and it took me months to finish it because ive been quite busy with work and since ive resigned, and i have all the time in the world, i finished reading it.

well, i did cried while racing the words with my lips until the end of the lines, until the last letter written to Rose. it did made me felt the emotions that i tried to avoid these days.

its a story about love (of course), about hope. yes, hope. the way the writer wrote this novel makes me feel like i am next to Rose Pepper (the main character) i am with her through all her thick and thin in life. and what really gripped my emotions are the hardness she had to gone through just to be with the one she loves and to be free.

okay i dont know why in the hell im blogging about this anyway, but it just been in my head today. now i am ready to read new book. give me more.

and now, tengah bingung memikirkan pasal where to further my study. matriks ke? asasi kat U ker? tunggu keputusan MARA ker? I HAVE NO IDEA. Berdoa agar di tempatkan di tempat yang terbaik untuk belajar, untuk masa depan. but im ready to shopping stuff for study. haha. its excite me though.

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