Tell me that all we had were lies.

Stand there and look into my eyes
And tell me that all we had were lies
Show me that to you it don't count
And I'll stand here if you prefer

Yes I'll leave you without a word

Life's funny isn't it? Sometimes i just getting tired to know how small the world is. OUR world. Sometimes its getting so ridiculous that i dont even care what is coming next. Yes, i was left speechless. But once that hope just gone, a new one keeps coming. Im not sure why, but its funny. Just. FUNNY. How we related to each other, how its just hurt when someone you dont expect to say the name, MENTIONING the name and know that particular person you running from very damn well.

And next you realized that the same old feeling keep coming back, the feeling you try to keep away from your new life. I tried to figure out why im feeling this way. I keep telling myself i dont want the same old shits happening to me all over again cause im tired of waiting for something that not even real cause im gonna hurt myself, and i got no one to talk to. But i dont know whether what i feel is right or not. But you know what, im not going to give any hopes, im tired of that. So im just gonna wait and see if its real or just me going crazy about something which is not real. yeah. Whatever. I dont know what to feel anymore.

I wish you don't look at me like that, i wish i never knew you, i wish you never hold my hands, i wish you never try to make me happy. I know its not real, I know its just some kind of jokes but please, don't.


Okay. now back to the real reality. really.


Now im reading this book, Water for Elephants. Im on chapter, hmm wait. Nine i guess. im not sure i like it or not cause im not getting "there" yet. but the plots are rising, and im sure its going to be interesting. and i dont want to watch the movie, yet. Not until i've finished reading it. OK thats my life now.

waiting,
wasting,
drowning,
and sleeping.
Oh wait. twittering. yes. that one. like my official public diary. okay maybe not diary. OK i stop here. <3