raye la weyh:)

its the first day of raye while everyone busy raya-ing with family and friends. getting hell lot of money from relatives but here i am, online and blogging. yeah, im home on the first day of raye. its kind of my family-new-tradition. sort of i guess. and all my siblings are here.my nieces.ha they just the cutest things in the world with their tiny little baju kurung.

i have this weird dreams last few weeks. i dream about hari raye. i remember i cried on my mom's arms and ask her forgiveness and everything. and usually that not happen on our family when we salam and giving duit raye on raye day. no. we laugh. we just said 'slamat hari raye, maaf zahir batin, halal makn minum' and thats it. we got our duit rye.

but today, this morning, its different. my mom was crying, my dad was crying, everybdy was. and surprisingly i was, too. and smhow i just ask forgiveness from my family deepest from my heart that i cant bear to cry.

we all cried because this raya is so different. we felt it just not any other raya we used to have. it because something is missing. something. and i know its because the absence of my brother.