Let go.

Hello readers,

I might have or haven't did it again. I promised myself I won't let it happen again but I guess it did happened. And this time its way more than I would've imagine it is. I'm not even sure what to call it. Love? Maybe. After trying to move on from my high school past, it hit me again. And I might actually know how is it going to end, and I'm sure its going to end badly and I will end up hurt, but it happened.

I tried so hard to shield myself but I ended up suffocating, trying to breathe, because I want more, and I felt bad about that. I know I'm going to hurt but I couldn't help myself. "Don't play with fire" as wise man said. But I wasn't sure it will be that dangerous.

But I thank Allah for making everything turned out to be much more than I wanted it to be. I let go. I let go the second I'm saying goodbye. And that's the whole reasons I cried when I said it. I cannot ask more, I got what is more precious than I thought it is. I got friendship. And I'm going to keep it that way. Because this is how things meant to be and I'm going to learn to accept it.

I'm going to miss those hugs, those eyes, and those hands that I thought were made to hold my hands cause I've never hold anyone's hands that is so perfect with mine. I'm glad I took every last days to the very best cause I'm aware I might not going to have it anymore, not anymore with the feelings still inside me. I'm letting go something that seems to be very special to me, but I'm going to save something is even more precious, the friendships.

Love,

  Shafiq.