Eighteen

These couples of weeks have been quite a journey. I was at the state where i was so sad and extremely happy.

why sad?

hmm i cried a lot. yeah. because my maths lecturer, miss fateha is going to leave us, leave me. The rumor starts to spread weeks before the night she gathered all of us to tell the sad news. I was just sad and angry when i heard about the news she's leaving but even sadder and hurt when she told us to close our eyes, and listen to what she got to say. I knew it would happen. I knew, but it was hurt just like the first time i heard it. yeah, shes leaving.

I know why shes leaving. and I know she have a solid reasons to leave. I am happy with her choice. I am happy that shes trying to be happy but, shes the main reasons why im still struggling taking maths, still bother to solve the maths problems because i love the way she teaches us, i love her class, she made me accept maths the way it is and continue doing it eventhough i can just simply drop maths anytime i want.

Even its hard to accept that shes going to leave KTT in few days, I will try to keep the promises. She dont want us to drop maths.

"Shafiq, awak boleh, boleh dapat A, usaha lebih, Miss tau awak boleh"

"Shafiq, keluar dari zero group tu, its time awak lebih dari orang lain"

"Miss tak nak awak drop maths, sebab maths membantu awak, pecayalah cakap miss. Miss gerenti kalau awak buat elok2 boleh dapat A"

"Lepas ni miss dah takde nak marah2 awak, nak merajuk, awak kene usaha sendiri"

These words keep repeating in my head. Anyway, miss, I had a great time in your class, Im going to miss all the laughter, the pressure when doing your quiz, the fun. You make me look at maths differently. You make me take the challenge. I cant promise anything, but i will try my best. Going to miss you badly.


anddd why happy?

On 6th October, it was my birthday. My classmates and GBS (geng bas sekolah KTT) made a surprise for me. Keep me at mamak until 12 and went outside, there you go. My classmates who live at the apartment sing Happy Birthday with piano. Okay. The whole collage heard that. but its sooo sweet. Im happy and grateful for the rest of the day.

and on my birthday also i realised that its okay if you're already gone. its okay to be on my own. and its okay to let my heart go.

thats all. bye.